Sanctified and useful to the master, prepared for every good work. II Timothy 2:21
Expectation: I expect my life to be easier when I’m serving the Lord.
Reality: It’s actually hard, sometimes harder than the life of others who are not living for Christ.
It has been a week. One where just trying to get through normal life has been met with frustrations that has had me taking deep breaths and actively choosing to not sin. Since last Saturday I feel like I have been walking in quicksand and unable to make progress on anything that is on my plate. Most of my week has been simply trying to do normal life, and that has been met with countless delays, annoyances and interactions with others that have left me scratching my head.
But the Lord has been faithfully teaching me, as He’s gotten my attention through it all. He’s been showing me how completely off my expectations are by asking me where I came to this me-centered expectation? Where in Scripture was His life and ministry ever easy? But that’s not all. He’s also been reminding me that He’s much more concerned with the process than the outcome. And that is completely contrary to how I operate. I have a to-do list, and knock things out as I go. Tangible successes daily.
Except last week, I think I may have had one or two frustrating experiences a day. It felt like I was wasting my time that could be better spent actually serving the Lord and making progress on things He has called me to do.
Do you want to know what I do in my spare time? Write Bible studies.
Do you want to know what my “hobby” is? Ministry.
But not last week. Because there was no spare time for anything. All my days were taken with simply living, with grocery shopping, making meals, basic everyday life. And it wasn’t like I had an abnormal amount of that to do! Yes, it was frustrating, but I determined that I would not sin by verbally lashing out on my family. They actually had nothing to do with the difficulties of the week. No, these were all external and I had to accept them as being allowed by God and therefore I asked Him to use this to sanctify those areas that clearly needed more of Him.
So, may He continue to work holiness and a desire to please Him above my desire for productivity. May the process produce a more useful vessel, one that is useful for Him for whatever He desires.